The snowflakes were the size of cotton balls, and may as well have been comprised of the same considering how quickly the drifts were piling up. “It’s advised that you not leave the house if you don’t have to,” the news radio meteorologist sternly warned, as I gripped the not-so-power steering wheel of my 1994 Dodge Shadow and squinted through the microscopic peepholes the wheezing defroster was granting me. As if the wasteland of spun-out cars and trucks in ditches wasn’t already a good indicator that this wasn’t a good time to be commuting to work! But duty called, and having already slip-slided seven death-defying miles into my 20-mile trek to the office, I reluctantly gave up on any remnant fantasy of retreating back to the cave, brewing a cup of hazelnut tea, and spending the day nestled in a cocoon of warm, fuzzy novels and reruns of Remington Steele. Besides, I thought, I’m always up for a challenge, and fighting the perils of this late winter storm, while nerve-wracking, seemed to be unleashing my inner competitive athlete, replete with steely-eyed concentration and triumphant sighs upon successfully conquering each segment of blizzard-blistered road. I was going to prove, darn it, what a trooper I am! Let others wimp out and stay home, today I would show off my grit, unveil my unyielding occupational dedication (and hopefully garner some extra-credit brownie points for my devotion). The anticipated gratification upon making my arrival – the bragging rights and battle stories it would give me for days to come – became that morning’s carrot stick, enabling me to brave what otherwise would have been an extremely frightening and stressful drive for me.
Three and a half gluteal-gripping hours later, I exhaled exhaustively as I pulled into the parking lot. I’d made it, and in one piece, no less. Being it was now 10:30, I wondered how surprised my boss would be to see me, whether he had assumed, by now, that I had given up the goat and gone home (I had called and left a message early on that I was en route, but that was a long time ago; anything could have happened between then and now). I even had a flash moment of wonder….would my boss even himself have made it in to work? Granted, his commute wasn’t as long as mine, but on a day like this…. A person living within walking distance would surely think twice before leaving the safe sanctuary of their house.
Thus, I strode confidently and breathlessly into the office, ready to accept the ooh’s and ah’s in response to my victorious journey.
But then? Nothing. In fact, worse than nothing. As I walked the aisles and navigated the labyrinth to my desk, I quickly made a disturbing and surprising discovery: Everyone else was there! All my colleagues, all fellow employees….they’d all made it in. Worse, it seemed they had all done so substantially ahead of me. So naturally, no one was particularly impressed with my dramatic entrance. In fact, no one seemed to notice. As soon as I had my coat off and began work, it was business as usual. I think it took a good hour and a half before anyone even mentioned the weather, and even then, it was just a casual, “Kind of a yucky day out there, isn’t it?” Yucky? No no. A sloppy rain day in June, that’s yucky. This? This was cataclysmic, probably just one step below the second coming! What was the MATTER with these people? Did no one begin to appreciate the miracle each of us just experienced in steering our would-be deathmobiles to their safe destination? Annoyed but humbled, I shook off my disappointment and went to work.
Why do I bring this story up? Because the pursuit of fitness goals is often riddled with similar frustration. You struggle along, overcoming huge challenges, plowing through barriers, pulling out depths of effort and discipline you never knew you had (and more over, never dreamed you’d need just to lose a few pounds or add some muscle tone to your body!). Yet in spite of the cravings you faced down, in spite of the daily workouts you endured, in spite of surviving the veritable blizzard of junk food and societal enticements to break your resolve, in spite of your Herculean defeat of the “enemy” of bad habits and sedentary lifestyle, no one is at the finish line to cheer you on. Oh sure, there are exceptions. Perhaps you have a trusted loved one or friend cheering in your corner. But by and large, few will seem to realize, or even care, about your valiant success. In fact, except for the actual changes brought on by your new lifestyle or habits, little else will be different. Work is the same. Morning TV shows are the same. The weather is the same. Excited beyond description, you want to be able to share the joy with someone, to bask in the glow of the accomplishment. So when no one is there to chant “You did it!”, there can be an odd… letdown.
Don’t get me wrong, we don’t (hopefully we don’t, anyway) pursue healthy eating and exercise for the sake of validation from others – we do it because we have a goal that relates to our physical, mental, and/or spiritual health. And there’s no question, reaching that goal, or achieving a huge milestone in your fitness path, is where the reward is at. But still… there’s often a desire to reap at least SOME recognition for all your hard work. And when it doesn’t come….when the heavens don’t open up and angels down sing down on you…quite frankly, that can be quite a bummer! But the truth it, no one but you will ever know the valiant effort it took for you to reach your goal. Sure, people can sometimes see visual changes, such as weight loss, and at least have an idea that you’ve put in some hard work. But no one can truly know the nitty-gritty details of how much it took for you to say no to your former ways and pave a new lifestyle – even if just to tweak a program already in progress. And this is something you need to anticipate, so that when you DO hit your mark, when you do reach your goal, when you do win the prize….you are able to celebrate it on your own, without the unlikely (even if deserved!) accompanying ticker tape parade. File it under “Would be nice, but not necessary.”
So let’s remember this: we can make huge changes in ourselves, but at the end of the day, the only person who’s likely to notice – REALLY notice – is yourself. And that’s quite okay!
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